Man-up about menstruation

As my eldest daughter, Aiya, approaches her 13th birthday, her mum and I have been chatting about how we talk to her, together, about menstruation.

‘Together’ is the key word. That’s important for me, as her dad.

I want Aiya to know that menstruation is a normal, manageable process. I want her to know that there is nothing to fear or to be ashamed of. I want her to know that her mum and I are here to support her through this change, and give her everything she needs – sanitary pads and tampons, pain relief medication and hot-water bottles, a cuddle if she needs one, or space if it’s what she prefers. I want her to feel confident and in control. It is her right.

But, honestly, I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated that, in 2021, this conversation is still subject to such denial amongst men. Why are conversations about menstruation between both parents and daughters not commonplace? When I talk about this with my male colleagues and friends who have daughters, I’m often met with looks of discomfort.

“I leave that to my wife,” I hear.

“Oh, that’s women’s stuff,” they stutter awkwardly.

“Ah,” I say incredulously. “I didn’t realise that you could opt into the parts of parenting that appealed most, and delegate the other stuff!”

Prize-giving, yes. Periods, no!

Where does this social conditioning come from? Since when are you less of a man if you talk about stomach cramps and heavy flows? How is it different to talking to your son about wet dreams, erections, and sex?

Wherever this social conditioning comes from, it is horribly detrimental to our daughters and to generations of girls around the world. I mean the whole world because this is a global issue. From Lyon to Lagos, Kathmandu to Kyoto, Santiago to Sana’a, men are just looking the other way.

Roughly 800 million girls and women menstruate every day. In too many countries and cultures, there’s so much stigma attached to this basic, biological, function that girls dread their period. Why? Because they are cruelly ostracized.

In Nepal, India, Indonesia, and parts of Nigeria, girls are banished to huts while they bleed. In some tribes in Uganda, women are banned from drinking cow’s milk because of the belief that it would contaminate the whole herd. Elsewhere, girls can either be forced to bathe, or forbidden from bathing.Yet others are not allowed to cook, in case they contaminate the meal. The list of these specious, discriminatory, practices makes my head spin.

Source: https://www.euronews.com/2021/01/28/man-up-about-menstruation