How to Recognize Verbal Abuse
What Is Verbal Abuse?
Because verbal abuse isn’t as clear-cut as other forms of abuse and bullying, like physical bullying and sexual bullying, it can be hard to identify. But that doesn’t make it any less real.
Verbal abuse involves some sort of verbal interaction that causes a person emotional harm, often prompting them to question who they are. It is a way for a person to control and maintain power over another person. In fact, it is not uncommon for a victim of verbal abuse to feel inadequate, stupid, and worthless. After all, they are being defined by a verbally abusive person.
If verbal abuse occurs in a dating relationship, it can be particularly confusing because the partner may not be abusive all of the time and their behavior likely emerged slowly over time. Verbal abuse can be insidious and subtle.
As a result, when the abuser is loving and gentle, the victim can forget about the negative behavior. Ultimately, the victim ends up ignoring the pattern of verbal abuse or makes excuses for the behavior, saying that the abuser is just stressed or going through a tough time right now.
Types of Verbal Abuse
When someone is being verbally abused, the person attacking them may use overt forms of abuse like engaging in name-calling and making threats, but also more insidious methods like gaslighting or constantly correcting, interrupting, putting down, and demeaning them. Even prolonged silent treatment is a form of verbal abuse. When this happens, the person is attempting to control and punish the victim by refusing to talk to the other person.
For some people, especially those who either experience verbal abuse in the home or experienced it as a child, it can often be overlooked because the verbal assaults feel like a normal way to communicate. But they are anything but normal and can have lasting consequences.
Verbal abuse can take a number of different forms, including:
- Blaming: making the victim believe they are responsible for the abusive behavior or that they bring the verbal abuse upon themselves
- Criticism: harsh and persistent remarks that are meant to make the person feel bad about themselves and are not constructive, but deliberate and hurtful
- Gaslighting: a type of insidious, and sometimes covert, emotional abuse where the abuser makes the target question their judgments and reality
- Judging: looking down on the victim, not accepting them for who they are, or holding them to unrealistic expectations
- Name-calling: abusive, derogatory language, or insults that chip away at the target’s self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and self-concept
- Threats: statements meant to frighten, control, and manipulate the victim into compliance
- Withholding: a refusal to give affection or attention, including talking to you, looking at you, or even being in the same room with you
While not an exhaustive list, these are a few examples of the common types of verbal abuse that can occur.
Impact
Verbal abuse can impact every element of life, including academic performance, relationships, and success at work later in life. Just like any other form of abuse or bullying, verbal abuse has both short- and long-term consequences, including the following mental health problems:
- Anxiety
- Changes in mood
- Chronic stress
- Decreased self-esteem1
- Depression
- Feelings of shame, guilt, and hopelessness
- PTSD2
- Social withdrawal and isolation3
- Substance use
When verbal abuse is particularly severe, it can impact whether or not people can see themselves as being successful in any area of life. Those who experience verbal abuse as children may experience feelings of worthlessness, difficulty trusting others, and problems regulating their emotions as adults.
Source: https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-recognize-verbal-abuse-bullying-4154087
