GENDER TALK # 2: Perceptions of High School Students on Sex Education
On March 14, 2019, Gender Talk #2-The Academic
Activity on Gender and Gender Equality was held at Hoa Sen University (HSU) ,
Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC), Viet Nam. Gender Talk #2 drew over 100 audience members
from many universities, social institutions, NGO agencies, and southern
provinces. Gender Talk #2 focuses on the following
two topics:
•
Topic 1:
Status of Vietnamese Women under Le Dynasty Law presented by Do Hong
Quan - Lecturer at HCMC Open University.
•
Topic 2:
Perceptions of High School Students on Sex Education presented by Pham
Hai Lam - Counselor and Founder of CERM.
In opening, Mr. Quan said that the information for the
presentation “Status of Vietnamese Women under Le Dynasty Law” is taken
from the research paper- Law and Society in Seventeenth and Eighteenth Century Vietnam by Insun Yu.
Mr. He focused and analyzed some articles in the Law of Le Dynasty,
which are considered to be advanced in the Viet Nam feudal society. Le Dynasty
Law was born in the context of Confucianism and had far-reaching influence in
society. Even today people and feminists in Viet Nam still speak highly of it.
In feudal times, social order and stability were based on Confucian ideology in
order to maintain the domination and control of the ruling class. Confucian ideology
indicated clearly ethics and values for men who were taught to follow “The Three Fundamental Bonds (King-Teacher-Father)
and the Five Constant Virtues (Diligence - Temperance - Dignity -
Integrity - Fortitude) ”
and for women who were educated to follow “Three Obediences and Four Virtues”.
Regarding Vietnamese feudal family structure in Le
Dynasty Law, there are two types of parallel existence, including the
Chinese-style family that shows the absolute authority of the father and the
husband and the Vietnamese-style family that indicates the wife to be more
equal to the husband and where individualism was highly appreciated. This is
reflected in independent ownership of property between parents and children. In
addition, married children have the right to live independently or in other
words to live separately while their parents are still alive. Many Vietnamese
families during Le Dynasty allow their children to live on their own by choice,
which is directly contrary to the highly respected Confucian values and ethics.
Regarding the right to divorce in Le Dynasty Law, a
husband has the right to divorce due to his wife's fault, such as if a wife
commits one or more of seven issues, including childlessness, jealousy,
wickedness, lust, disrespect to parents, talkativeness, and theft, her husband
can leave her. The wife also has the right to divorce her husband due to the
husband's fault, including if a husband has been separated from his wife for at
least five months then the wife is allowed to present her case to the local
authorities and can leave her husband (Article 308, 333).
Regarding the right to ancestor worship, daughters in
the family were never excluded from the inherence of the family line. The law
stipulates: “When parents die without leaving a will, the property is divided
into 20 parts. Then take 1/20 of the property to worship the ancestors, the
rest is divided equally among the children regardless of male or female
(Article 388). “Those who have an eldest son will use it for the eldest son, if
there is no eldest son, they will use the eldest daughter, and take 1/20 of the
property to worship the ancestors” (Article 391). This is opposite to
traditional Chinese society, where daughters are often excluded from inheriting
property.
Regarding the division of property upon divorce, whose
own property he/she keeps. Common property is divided in half: 50% (living
people); 50% (the deceased). The wife still has the right to own 50% of the
property if the husband dies first. When getting married, the bond between a
daughter and her birth family is not lost. When the wife unfortunately dies,
their property is still transferred to their biological parents' family to make
incense for worship. If they divorce, they return to their biological parents'
house. Insun Yu (1990) concludes that this is quite different from the Chinese practice
regarding women.
In summary, Mr. Quan concluded that the Vietnamese
system structure has its own customary law that is not as strict with women as
in China. This was expressed at least during the Le Dynasty or based on the Le
Trieu Penal Code. This shows that this Code is the creation and progress of
Vietnamese legislators in order to protect and acknowledge the role, rights and
status of women in society compared to men in feudal society.
Moving on to the second topic: Perceptions of High
School Students on Sex Education. Mr. Lam shared that he worked on
counseling and career guidance for high school students. When talking to them, the
subject often comes up with many connected issues, but eventually their talks turned
to concerns of sex. Thus, he is very concerned and worried for teenagers as a
counselor, a husband, and a father with one daughter.
Mr. Lam began his presentation with a crossword
puzzles game with the audience, to help them see how high school students think
about sex and romantic relationships. He gave 6 phrases and the audience was
asked to arrange them in order. Here are results:
1. Audience
think that high school students will follow these steps in relationship: (1) Like
each other-(2) Get to know each other- (3) Go out for dates –(4) Be in love –
(5) Have sex”.
2. Another
group audience think that high school students will follow these steps in
relationship: (1) Get to know each other- (2) Go out for dates –(3) Like each
other- (4) Be in love – (5) Have sex”- (6) Get married.
3. In
fact, Mr. Lam said that the high school students will not follow the above two
groups, They do these orders: (1) Have sex without love-(2) Get to know each
other – (3) Like each other – (4) Go out for dates – (5) Finally, not feel certain
whether to love or marry."
Mr. Lam said teenagers have a lot of questions about
sex and often feel shamed or uncomfortable to talk about it. They often have
sex with vague or minimal understandings of basic knowledge about safe sex
measures. So, what should we do to help them?
The audience was surprised by Mr. Lam’s order of the
game. Then they actively engaged in raising more questions. Examples of questions
included what content do we need to educate about sex for high school students?
How do high school students receive sex education? Who are the sex educators
for the children? Do teenagers understand about possible consequences of sexual
activity? How do they deal with those consequences? What are basic principles
before having sex?
The majority of the audience agreed that the family
would be the best place for sex education for children. However, in reality,
parents do not give sex education to their children, and are often fearful or embarrassed
to educate their children about sex. Many may feel that they do not know how to
teach sex education to their children because they lack information about this
as well.
Many students share that they are also afraid to ask
their parents about sex issues, or if they do ask, their parents may say "when
you grow up, you will know" or avoid sharing this sensitive matter with
them.
The audience also added that the schools at different
levels are safe places to provide continuing sex education knowledge for teenagers
and youth in order to help them understand and make the good decisions. Some
audience members thought that if the schools do not teach sex education continuously,
teenagers will learn from the internet and this is not effective way of reducing
teenagers’ pregnancies and STDs.
Finally, the audience discussed the Confician ideology
that deeply affects policies, laws, and Vietnamese cultural lives. Nowadays,
although the Law regulates that men and women are equal, but we are not equal
yet. Family preference for son is an examples and is also reflected clearly in
the desire of male birth or find a way to be born a son. Many families invest more
in boys than in girls. The reason for this is the son is considered as an heir
and the daughter will become married and serve her husband’s family, thus
investment for girls is not as much as for boys. In many families, the husband
remains the decisive and important role. In addition, there are still many
opinions regarding housework, that is must be done by women, and that men have less
responsibility for the housework and for caring for children. These tasks are
time-consuming and effort-consuming but less important, and have less values,
and provide no income.
FEEDBACK FROM AUDIENCE ABOUT GENDER TALK
#2
#1:Thai Ho Thien Thanh from
Luong Van Cang Fund said "I would like to thank the organizers and two
speakers today for opening up topics that are not new, but are giving people
the opportunity to reflect and critique, as well as share their own
perspectives and stories. Also, I enjoyed every moment of Gender Talk #2
because we come to learn, listen, share our own stories without fear, and make
choices after every talk. I think Gender Talk is like an open classroom where
people’s voices are heard and respected. I also identify that members in my
family are unequal. But I cannot blame them for that because they do not have
opportunity to educate well. Yet I can change and can make impact on gender
equality.
#2:Ngoc Tram
from HCMC Open University shared: "I am very interested in the topics
today. Thanks to Gender Talk #2, I recognize that I am a gender stereotype
person. Before I looked down on women’s roles like cooking, sewing,
embroidering. Now I think these jobs are necessary and important for us. There
is nothing wrong if women choose sewing jobs. It is wrong if we think sewing is
only for women, not for men. Sewing is for anyone. Gender Talk #2 helps me have
a more specific view on gender equality. Thank you!
#3:Tuyen shared that she
is grateful to Gender Talk organizers for very useful topics. Although I am
old, I enjoy this talk a lot. I am inspired and filled with progressive spirit
of the students. I look forward to attending more Gender Talk series to update knowledge,
so I can share it with my children and grandchildren at home.
#4: Nguyen Hanh from
Room To Read Foundation addressed that “First, I would like to thank the Gender
Talk organizers for giving me the opportunity to participate in the event. With
three hours spent at Gender Talk #2, I think it brings great and meaningful
values. Gender Talk #2 creates a place for us to increase our knowledge, a
place for us to share and discuss our views with respect. Gender Talk also
creates a place to network professionals and individuals with the same interest
in gender equality. For the above two reasons alone, I think Gender Talk should
be maintained and organized periodically.”
#5: Luong Minh Kim Phung
from HCMC Open University said it is lucky for me to attend Gender Talk #2
because I can gain some answers and am aware of gender inequality. Many people
think that Viet Nam obtains gender equality already. No, we have not. There are
many things that need to be done. Thank you Organizers for great talks and
discussion. Gender Talk bridges the gap in our knowlegde and reflects our
relationships in the family and society. Finally, I think parents and children
should participate in Gender Talk. It will help their relationships better and bring
them closer. Thank you Prof. Ngoc for creating this meaningful and valuable
project. I wish your project be strong in the future."
By
Doan Thi Ngoc- HSU Lecturer and The Founder of Gender Talk.
