GENDER TALK #8: The Social Status of Vietnamese Brides in South Korea and Taiwan
GT: On April 29, 2021, Gender Talk # 8 - The Academic Activity on Gender and Gender Equality was held at Hoa Sen University (HSU). The topic for Gender Talk # 8 was “The Social Status of Vietnamese Brides in South Korea and in Taiwan”
Opening
the first topic “Vietnamese Brides in South Korea”, Dr. Nguyen
Thi Phuong Thao focused on three main parts including general information about
marriages between Korean and Vietnamese, the social position of Korean women,
and Vietnamese brides in South Korea (hereafter to be referred as Korea).
First,
Dr. Thao showed key statistics from Statistics Korea (KOSTAT) on international
marriages in general and marriages between Korean and Vietnamese in particular
in Korea. According to the 2020 Statistics, there were 23,643 international
marriages in Korea, with the majority (74.8 percent) being between Korean men
and foreign women. It is worth noting that nearly 80 percent of foreign wives were
younger than their Korean husbands (40 percent of them are 10 years younger
than their husbands).
Regarding Korean and Vietnamese couples, approximately 60 percent were first marriages and 70 percent were married through brokers. Dr. Thao explained three main reasons for Vietnamese women marrying Korean men including “Korean Dream”, Korean Wave (Hallyu), and economic reasons. Marriages between Vietnamese women and Korean men accounted for nearly 40 percent of international marriages in Korea, and the number of Vietnamese brides grew to 44,172, forming the largest group of foreign brides in Korea in 2019. The spousal age gap between Korean and Vietnamese couples has been reported to be 16 years in average. The divorce rate for Korean and Vietnamese families was found to be the second highest, following Korean and Chinese couples. Two main reasons for divorce were reported as (1) abusive husbands, and (2) differences in lifestyle and thinking between couples. Korea is one of the very few countries in the world that calls international couples “multicultural families” and children born in these families “multicultural children”. Most of these children do not want, and are not encouraged to learn their mother’s language. The dropout rate of multicultural children was found to be high due to bad friend/teacher relationships, or not ability in keeping up with classes.
Second, Dr. Thao described the social position of Korean women in feudal and modern times utilizing statistics on gender equality. Korea is a nation strongly influenced by Confucianism. Feudal law strictly regulated the remarriage of women and the “rules” in the family that Korean women had to follow. For instance, a man was able to kick out or divorce his wife legally if she committed any of the acts of the “chil guh ji ak", which included (1) not producing a son, (2) disobeying her parents-in-law, (3) being talkative, (4) getting jealous, (5) being lewd, (6) having a serious disease, or (7) stealing. In modern Korea, women become more independent but have to bear “double burden” when playing multiple roles in their lives. Gender inequality remains very high in Korea. According to the 2019 Statistics, the gender pay gap in Korea is the highest in the OECD. Regarding the gender inequality index 2020, Korea ranked 15th out of 38 countries in East Asia and the Pacific, and ranked 108th out of 153 countries in the world. Korean females only held 2.1 percent of companies’ board of directors. Accordingly, a rising number of Korean women have chosen not to marry or have children.
Finally,
Dr. Thao talked about Vietnamese brides as a “minority group” who face multiple
difficulties and challenges in Korea, including the language barrier, cultural
differences, social discrimination, financial hardship, parenting, and family
conflict. Dr. Thao, on the other hand, introduced some successful cases of
Vietnamese brides who have gained success through perseverance and support from
the Korean Government.
Moving
on to the second topic: “Vietnamese Brides in Taiwan”, Ms. Nguyen
Thi Ngan Hoai focused on “The general situation of gender equality in
Taiwan, the reasons why Vietnamese women marry Taiwanese husbands, and the
advantages and disadvantages of Vietnamese brides in Taiwan.”
Regarding
the general situation of gender equality in Taiwan, Ms. Hoai said that Taiwan
is a country that makes great efforts to promote women's rights and gender
equality, and is one of the leading countries in Asia supporting gender
equality. Specifically, in 2016 Taiwan had its first female president, Ms. Tsai
Ing-wen. The proportion of female legislators makes up 38%, compared to 22%
internationally. Taiwan's Gender Inequality Index (GII) in 2017 ranked 8th and
2019 ranked 6th in the world and the first in Asia.
Next,
Ms. Hoai presented some primary reasons why foreign women marry Taiwanese
husbands. The wave of foreign women marrying Taiwanese men started in 1990 and
the majority of them are Southeast Asian women. According to studies, some of
the main causes for this phenomenon includes:
- Increasing social stratification in Taiwan,
- Some men in Taiwan find it difficult to find a life partner in their own country,
- The growth of marriage services;
- The rise of feminism in Taiwan regarding marriage;
- An increase in second marriages to solve family problems; and
- Southeast Asian women who want to escape poverty and search for good life in Taiwan.
Research
by Tran, Nguyen & Tran in 2013 shows that the motivations of Vietnamese
brides to marry Taiwanese men:
- Want to help their family (46.7%),
- Want better living conditions (26.7%),
- Love Taiwanese men (17.8%), and
- Want to change their life (8.8%).
According
to a survey in 2015, Vietnamese brides in general have left good impressions on
Taiwanese people such as: gentle, studious, loyal, responsible, and
hardworking. A study of Mai Kim Thanh in 2015 described characteristics of
Vietnamese brides as young, low-educated, unskilled, living in rural areas. The
characteristics of Taiwanese husbands are old, low-educated, unskilled, living mostly
in rural areas, unstable economically, often having poor health status, and some
kind of physical disability. The characteristics of these Taiwanese husbands
are often not disclosed by the matchmakers and marriage agencies. The
matchmakers often paint a rich, luxurious, happy, comfortable, and leisure picture
and prospect for Vietnamese brides.
Forms
of marriage between Vietnamese and Taiwanese spouses are also very diverse.
They marry Taiwanese men through matchmaking agencies, matchmakers in the
cities, studying, working, or doing business with Taiwanese. Particularly,
marriage through dating and matchmaking services have many risks because the
women do not know much information about the Taiwanese husbands’ characters,
economy, work and backgrounds, and likely share language and cultural barriers
as well.
Ms
Hoai shared difficulties that Southeast Asian immigrants, specifically
Vietnamese brides, often face when marrying Taiwanese husbands. This
information was taken from studies by Taiwanese scholars such as: Cai (2000),
Liu (2001), Wang (2001), Xia (2002), and Ding (2007):
- Regarding cultural differences, Vietnamese brides often do not have enough language skills and often stayed at home to do housework for a long time. Due to poor language competency, misunderstandings and disagreements easily arose with the husband’s members. In addition, their varied educational background, culture, and values lead to different behaviors, thoughts, perceptions, attitudes and lifestyles, so the Vietnamese brides do not integrate easily into Taiwanese families and society. Therefore, difficulties will pile up from time to time and put stress on all members in the family (Zheng, 2000; He, 2003; Ding, 2007).
- Regarding discrimination in the media, Taiwan is a patriarchal society. In the media, the new immigrants are often negatively portrayed as commercial marriage, divorce, fake marriage, prostitution, or deception and exploitation. Due to a lack of knowledge and infected by misinformation in mass media, new immigrants often experience prejudice by Taiwanese people, specifically Vietnamese brides. Taiwanese people also judge brides based on where they come from. International brides from developed and developing countries will be treated differently. For example, Vietnamese brides coming from a developing country will be treated with disrespect, and the Taiwanese use discriminatory words for them such as “immigrant brides”, but they treat American or Japanese brides from rich countries with high respect, and are called as “foreign brides” (Liu, 2001; Ding, 2007).
- In terms of adaptation to society, immigration is not only a change of residence but also a process of learning social, cultural and environmental norms and structures. New immigrants not only enter Taiwanese society, but also join their new families. Therefore, they need guidance and support not only from their husbands, but in-laws, institutions, and the whole society to integrate quickly. This process can be hard for anyone.
- Finally, Ms. Hoai presented the advantages of Vietnamese brides in Taiwan. The interests and rights of new migrants in Taiwan are getting more and more attention in many areas of life thanks to the feminist movement, gender equality and especially the Taiwanese government's concern for future generations of children of new migrants. For example, in terms of health, new migrants are subsidized for antenatal check-ups, receive subsidies or loans to support business when facing difficult circumstances such as a husband's disappearance, imprisonment, death, malicious abandonment or divorce due to abuse, domestic violence, and do not have the ability to work alone to raise children under 18 years old. There are many typical examples of Vietnamese brides who are highly appreciated by the media because they have made great efforts to integrate into society and have contributed a lot to Taiwan. Many Vietnamese brides hold high positions as the President's adviser on New Migration, Immigration Ministry officials, professors, teachers at primary schools, truck drivers and devoted wives who sacrifices and are dedicated to Taiwan society.
THE
PANEL DISCUSSION SESSION OF GENDER TALK #8
The
final session was a discussion between the audience and guest speakers, and was heated and very lively. The Organizer
received 35 questions. The session was mainly shared and analyzed human rights,
unequal relationships on economy and education, discrimination, disrespect women
in the patriarchal families and misinformation on mass media.
In
general, women in poor and developing countries may face contempt and unfair
and malicious judgments due to unequal marital relations, low level of
socio-economic development between the two countries, unequal rights and money for individuals and families,
unequal education on both sides, and many more. Therefore, many Vietnamese
brides are often vulnerable to insults to their dignity, being advertised as “sex
objects”, often dependent on husbands, disadvantaged, and subject to violations
of women's rights and human rights.
Many
discussed and addressed concerns about blatant ways such as "disguised
trading in marriage, husband buying wife, sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship
or buying wife to do cheap housework and also as a sex toys".
Although
heartbreaking, the speakers and the audience both dared to talk directly about
the good and the ugly sides of marriages in Korea and in Taiwan. Eventually,
and all agreed that everyone has rights and desires to love and marry anyone if
they love each other, no matter what religion, race, nation, etc. Everyone left
with many concerns about economy, education level, gender inequality, the unequal
roles of men and women in love relationship and in rich and poor countries,
about family, about multiculturalism, and about Vietnamese brides abroad. Many
viewers want to hear more about Vietnamese brides in Western countries.
FEEDBACK
OF AUDIENCE ABOUT GENDER TALK #8
#1
Bui Van Thang: Through Gender Talk #8, I learned a lot
about gender issues and socio-cultural knowledge and enriched my understanding.
I am very impressed that there is a Vietnamese bride in Taiwan who can drives a
big truck that breaks traditional gender roles. I felt that Vietnamese brides
in Korea have to go through language barriers, cultural differences, prejudice
and discrimination. I am angry about the issues of human trafficking, disguised
marriages, and commercializing Vietnamese brides. I feel offended when hearing
Vietnamese women having been given false information about the groom, leading
to the difficult circumstances of the bride, marrying men who are old,
unskilled, sick, disable, and low education. Worse still, women may be
considered as sex slaves by the men in the family. I have never seen the value
of women that become that cheap. Many women, even her parents, think shortsightedly
that marrying a foreigner will change her life.
I
think there is nothing wrong to have a dream of marrying a good foreign husband
and changing their life freely, but it is terrible when coming to deception and
disguised marriages that have indirectly pushed Vietnamese brides into a deep
pit of despair. Thereby, we should rethink not only Vietnamese brides abroad
but also in some marriages in Vietnam, the value of women is still not
respected, they are also abused, they are also sexually harassed, they are also
restrained and tortured by out of date mindset and customs. We, especially men,
need to look at ourselves again, we are an important factor in helping women
regain their worth and dignity.
#2
Lam Thanh Thao: I gained a lot of information from GENDER
TALK#8. I feel sympathy for Vietnamese brides, who do not have enough knowledge
and awareness about protecting themselves, accepting sacrifices to marry
foreigners so that their parents at home have money to live better. When going abroad,
they faced many difficulties, not to mention suffering many scenes of
humiliation and violence from the husband's family, living a very miserable
life. Just this much makes me feel angry. I am also a girl, but I have
opportunity to go to university to expand my knowledge. I am even very happier that
I have studied the subject on Gender and Development by Prof. Doan Thi Ngoc at
HSU. In this class, I am equipped with knowledge about human rights, women's
rights, values of respect, hard-work, equality, gender equality, independence,
freedom, and many social issues. Ms. Ngoc also stressed that modern women have
to have advanced knowledge, gender equality, independence in finance and
emotion. Women are not sex toys and do not depend on men anymore. I also expect
and hope that Ms. Ngoc and our school will continue to create opportunities for
me and other students to attend the upcoming useful workshops so that we can
have more profound knowledge and diversely realistic views of the gender
equality, equality between men and women.
#3
Thach Thi Kim Ngan: I am very happy to participate in Gender
Talk #8. Thanks to all teachers for giving us very useful knowledge and insights
of the lives of Vietnamese brides in Korea and Taiwan. We often think that
marrying a foreign husband will make life happier, but the reality is very
different. What is marriage? Marriage is a testament to the love of two people
who are truly ready to be together for life. It is lucky for those who marry good
foreign husbands and are loved by them. But if marriages that do not come from
true love are regrettable. I feel sorry for the families that push their
daughters to get married because of money. As a woman, I have had the
opportunity to go to college and am so fortunate to learn the subject
"Gender and development from Prof. Ngoc, so now I wish all women to be
strong and understand their rights, and to choose the right man to love. I
think we should control our own life and do not depend on destiny.
#4
Nguyen Do Van Thu: This is my first time attending Gender
Talk #8 at Hoa Sen University. The room was really crowded and the atmosphere
was very exciting. I also joined in the excitement with everyone while
listening to the topics of Vietnamese Brides in Korea and in Taiwan. I learned that
Vietnamese brides simply wanted to reach their “Korean Dream”, aspire to live
in a rich, beautiful, civilized country and wanted to be financially and
economically stable in order to support their families in Vietnam. I am sad to
hear that the age difference between Vietnamese wives (often young) and Korean husbands
(often old), may lead to differences in personality, world views, cause of
domestic violence and, ultimately, divorce and live in a stigmatized and
discriminatory society.
I
really enjoyed the discussion session with all panelists, because it brought me
more useful information from all speakers. I listened to many insightful perspectives
from experts as well as peers, sharing about the roles and positions of women
and men in society and providing ways to respect women. In this session, I am
more impressed with the sharing of Prof. Ngoc. She often surprises us whenever
she shares her views and stories. She teaches us that women in the current era must
be highly educated, independent about finance and emotion and know how to use
tears at the right time and with right place and people. She also stressed that
“Gender equality is for everyone. Gender equality encapsulates in the following
words: equality of responsibilities, rights, positions and roles”. I have been
inspired to strive harder, assert my position, as well as constantly speak up
my opinions, support and respect every woman who stands up to exercise their
rights and pursue their dreams and passions.
#5
Trinh Thi Tuyet Thom: From my point of view, gender equality
is an issue that has always been given special priority by Viet Nam government.
Vietnam has addressed many gender issues. Gender Talk #8 mentioned the relationship
between Vietnam - Korea and Vietnam - Taiwan has become increasingly close and
the number of Vietnamese women marrying Korean and Taiwanese husbands have
increased rapidly. Many Vietnamese women have married Korean and Taiwanese
husbands with dreams and aspirations to change their lives, and to change the
fate of themselves and their families. Apart from advantages, many Vietnamese
brides face many difficulties, from language barriers, culture, discrimination,
economy, child care and upbringing, to family conflicts with in-laws. I am very
upset to hear that there are matchmakers providing false information about
husbands and life in Korea and Taiwan to deceive naïve Vietnamese brides. After
participating in Gender Talk #8, I feel that promoting gender equality and
women's empowerment is very important. Thank you Organizers for an eye-opening
experience!
#6
Nguyen Thi Anh Duong: I am very interested in Gender Talk #8 because
lecturers shared many facts and stories about Vietnamese brides and Korean and
Taiwanese husbands and societies. Young Vietnamese women often dream of
marrying a Korean man because they are influenced by Korean movies. In Korean
movies, they often see life there as very beautiful, romantic and full of pink
color. But the reality is often different from what we see in movies. Unfortunately,
it may be too late for them, so they have try their best to fit in and desire to
change their lives to help their parents in Vietnam.
In
my opinion, living in Korea is not as easy as we think, and I have learned from
many sources that most Vietnamese women when giving birth in Korea will usually
not teach their children Vietnamese, because if everyone knows that their
children are foreigners, they may be looked down and discriminated against
right away. Luckily, I also read news that the Korean government has issued policies
to help Vietnamese brides. I am happy for them. I wish that women do not rush
to get married with others. They should learn carefully before getting married,
so that they do not regret later. Gender Talk #8 was very lively, especially that
Ms. Ngoc also participated in the conversation, which made the atmosphere more
interesting. I am fascinated by Hoa Sen students, who were very active and had
very good and meaningful questions. All teachers answered their questions
thoroughly. I would like to thank Hoa Sen University and Gender Talk’s
Organizers for letting me participate in a meaningful afternoon!
#7
Nguyen Xuan Trinh: Gender Talk #8 makes me very happy
because the way that teachers shared their views is very witty, lively, and made
everyone laugh a lot. The knowledge that the teachers shared is very profound, comprehensive,
and clear, which helped me absorb it very quickly. Thank you!
#8
Nguyen Thu Thao: I am very happy to participate in Gender
Talk #8 because the teachers brought with moments to the audience despite the
serious topic. I knew problems of Vietnamese brides in Korea before Gender Talk
#8, but I learned more at Gender Talk #8. In my opinion, Korea is just a place
to visit, not a place to live. At the end of the session, I felt grateful to
the teachers who helped Vietnamese brides. That is great!
#9
Phuong Tu Thanh: I think Gender Talk #8 is very useful,
exciting, and unforgettable. All the presenters explained the information
carefully and with balanced views. They showed us how to stand up for ourselves,
fight for women's rights, and help everyone understand more about gender equality
in a couple’s relationship. I am looking forward to attending Gender Talk #9
and thank you for making the discussion a success.
#10
Le Thi Mong Quynh: I was so lucky to know and connect with
Ms. Doan Thi Ngoc through an event on “Promoting Gender Equality in Vietnam” at
Vietnam Fulbright University. I was very impressed by her presentation, which contained
a lot of insightful, valuable and novel information. Her talk was clear, logic,
concise, and easy to understand. She shared theories and explained with
practical examples that were subtly and humorously integrated at that event.
Today,
coming to Gender Talk #8, I am first impressed with the "heat" and
crowd in the auditorium. There were so many people attending the event. Next, I
learned that all speakers have advanced education and many years of
experiences. All information about the life of Vietnamese brides in Korea and in
Taiwan was presented clearly and objectively through research evidences,
stories, examples.
I
feel sorry for Vietnamese brides who are abused and exploited. From this
workshop, more than ever I think promoting gender equality is very important.
We are the young people, we want to be independent and control our own lives. That
is the reason why the audience kept clapping their hands when Ms. Ngoc
emphasized that "Women today must be highly qualified, financially
independent, emotionally independent, and know how to use tears at the right
time and in the right place, with the right person”.
After
Gender Talk #8, I still feel upset when I think about the images of Vietnamese
women being chosen like an “object or sex toy”. I have many questions in my
mind, “How do Vietnamese women become respected in other countries? Why are
they cheated? Is it because of helping their families to pay debts, or because
of their desire for a better life? Why do not they want to return to Vietnam and
even think that it is better to be abroad than in Vietnam? Why do many people,
including people with high academic degrees still discriminate and stereotype
others? What should we do more to promote gender equality in a strategic and
effective way? Finally, I hope that Gender Talk will take place more often in
order to broaden the knowledge of people
of all walks of life. Thanks a lot, Organizers!
#11
Nguyen Thu Hang: I believe that Vietnamese brides marrying foreigners
will more or less encounter prejudice. This is inevitable because this is the
consequence of the misinformation from marriage brokers. However, I have been
in contact with many Vietnamese brides, they try to find every opportunity to
learn and assert themselves. In Taiwan, there are many free classes for new
immigrants, such as: free Chinese classes, free makeup classes, etc., There are
even classes from elementary school upwards, enabling women to go. study and
have the opportunity to go to university. The process of learning and
interacting with new people and a new environment will help Vietnamese brides
understand information better, take initiative in work, finance, and promote
their good lives. Thank you, Gender Talk Organizers, for helping me understand the
problems that Vietnamese brides in Korea.
#12
Dang Hoang Phuong Trinh: I learned the reasons why Vietnamese
women chose to marry Korean and Taiwanese husbands. Some people are forced to
do so because of their family and family circumstances. In addition to the
difficulties, obstacles and barriers of the brides, the authorities of each
country have also introduced a number of measures to protect interests of
Vietnamese brides. Gender Talk #8 touches not only the issue of gender stereotypes
and gender inequality in Vietnam, but also in the world in general. After the
discussion that day, I gained a lot of new knowledge, I learned that gender
equality is not only about empowering women or pushing men down, but gender
equality benefits everyone. This was really an interesting workshop and gave me
a lot of knowledge I wanted. Thank you organizers and speakers!
By Doan Thi Ngoc and and Nguyen Thi Phuong Thao
