Ms. Pham Thi Hue Her Stories Need Telling
Ms. Pham Thi Hue Her Stories Need
Telling
By Le Hoang Anh Thu
Translated by Doan Thi Ngoc
Ms. Pham Thi Hue is a very successful woman in Vietnam. On the
one hand, she is a success and has held multiple positions ranging from being a
project leader, a counselor, a book author, an actress, and a seductive public
speaker who can draw the attention of many diverse audiences and deeply touch
their feelings. She is also a social activist who has appeared in the
nationwide and worldwide press. On the other hand, it is least known that she
has been infected with HIV/AIDs for 11 years and has to have laboratory tests
performed on a regular basis to monitor the level of her white blood cells.
This is what we can tell you about Ms. Hue who was voted an Asian Hero by Time
Asian Magazine in 2004.
Someone once said that every individual is a “giant book.” As one of Ms.
Hue’s admirers I have not had the chance to talk with her directly,
nonetheless, I am impressed by Ms. Hue’s conviction that a person with HIV/AIDs
shouldn't be judged by their illness, instead as a flesh and blood human being.
It is true that people with HIV/AIDs are persons like us and have a lot of
stories to tell.
On November 29, 2011 at the Liberty Hotel in HCMC, at an Australian Agency
for International Development meeting, a woman quickly stepped up to the stage
to deliver her speech. We had learned in advance that the speaker was a
representative from the Joint United Nations Program on AIDS (UNAIDS) and that
her presentation aimed to raise awareness of HIV/AIDS. The 30 year-old-lady,
before our eyes, checked her laptop prior to her speech and looked like a
modern dynamic female office worker. She had a nice, neat short hair style and
wore professional clothes. Before she gave her talk, we could very well have
imagined that the information to be presented might be boring and could be
found in any brochure or website.
Ms. Hue began her talk by introducing herself along with shocking
information about her identity by saying unhesitatingly, "I have lived
with HIV/AIDs for 11 years". At that moment, I suddenly felt a sense of
shyness and thought that others had the same feeling as a result of her frank
opening statement. As an intellectual, I felt a bit of self-embarrassment on
facing a young woman claiming to have HIV/AIDs and my zone of discomfort
suddenly rose . I believe the stigma placed on people with HIV/AIDS or leprosy
is probably a societal reaction that will stick around for some time to come.
Anyone can easily say the words that they don’t discriminate, place a stigma
on, or shun persons with HIV/AIDs; however, in reality those without HIV/AIDs,
often continue the stigma against people with HIV/AIDs.
Gradually, I understood that this was Ms. Hue’s dramatic manner of presenting.
She continued asking questions without giving answers: "As you look
at me, do you think I have HIV/AIDs? Do I look like a person with HIV/AIDs?
Everyone shook their heads indicating “No, you don’t.” Ms. Hue appeared
so healthy, mature, confident, and bold in front of us; she did not look like
an HIV/AIDS patient as typically depicted in propaganda brochures, or posters,
or banners on the streets. We did not see the image of a prostitute, a drug
addict, or a “ghost” in her appearance.
Often times, we are biased against people with HIV/AIDs who differ from us
in appearance, our class, our careers, and our lifestyles. Most certainly,
these infected people seem not to belong in our group. As Ms. Hue stood before
us she appeared even more beautiful, dynamic, and diligent than us, however, we
remained reluctant to accept this reality. Ms. Hue said, “Anyone can become
infected with HIV/AIDS if he or she does not have appropriate knowledge
regarding HIV/AIDs or do not protect themselves or their loved ones from
catching this mostly terminal disease”. Giving such a strong message to the
audience through an assertive voice and true stories of the Hoa Phuong Do Group
(Flamboyant Flower Group), as well as her own personal stories, was vitally
crucial for her presentation.
Ms. Hue said that HIV/AIDs is probably the most insidious virus. It enters
our bodies as a result of arousing, excitable or happy activities, such as
intercourse, drug injection, and upon delivery (mother and child infection).
She very smoothly integrated the social and medical information on HIV/AIDs by
telling stories about different periods in her life. Interestingly, she
knew how to keep her audience at different levels of suspense by skillfully not
telling complete stories which left them tied in knots wondering what happened.
Ms Hue resolved their tensions by slowly presenting her entire story that led
participants to gradually understand the truth about the disease and untying
the knots bit by bit. The entire audience listened intently to her words and
was concerned about her health as well as wondering if her child was also
infected with the disease. How could she overcome such immense anguish and
stigma through her period of HIV infection?. We all know about HIV, how one
becomes infected with HIV, how many stages the illness has, how terrible
the stigma is on people with HIV/AIDs and ways to
prevent or protect oneself from the disease. Yet, do we thoroughly
know the information well enough that she just gave us?
In 2001, Ms. Hue learned that her husband had infected her with HIV/AIDs.
She spoke with a strong, clear but emotional voice, telling the story of those
dark days, the feelings of being humiliated, and her mental collapse. She gave
birth to her first child by cesarean section but she didn’t receive any care
from the physicians or nurses. She was quarantined immediately and had to stay
with her child in a separate corner of the room. Although being extremely weak
and in pain, Ms. Hue had to clean her surgical wounds by herself. She recalled
that people in those days still thought that HIV/AIDs virus had “wings” and was
able to fly from person to person. On arriving back home from the hospital, her
husband’s parents no longer allowed them to live there because of the disease.
She, her husband and her child were told to move out and look for a place to
rent. The sole support for her and her child was a small amount of food every
day from her in-laws; both were always hungry and shunned by the family. After
having moved into a new place for one or two months, they were always asked to
leave at once due to their HIV/AIDs infection. This happened repeatedly since
no one wanted to have people infected with HIV/AIDs.
in their residence. Is it possible for anyone to visualize that such a
stigma against people with HIV/AIDs could be that burdensome? How many people
without HIV/AIDs are able to understand the feelings of being humiliated,
extremely lonely and discriminated against by those around them, including
their families? Ms. Hue strongly emphasized, “People who have HIV/AIDs do not
fear illness or physical pain on the contrary, they fear being stigmatized and
shunned. Many people infected with HIV/AIDs have died as a result of the
stigma.
Ms. Hue continued telling us about her actual painful stories. She said,
“When our son turned three months of age, my husband and I intended to commit
suicide due to the shame, isolation, and shunning. We actually bought poison
and mixed it into a bowl of soup. We wanted that the three of use would die
together. Suddenly my son burst out crying, which then awakened our
spirit to fight for survival. After accidentally becoming an "unwilling
celebrity" in 2004 until today, most schools would not admit my son even
though he has no HIV/AIDs disease. However, when he is lucky enough to be
accepted into a school, he is made to sit in a corner and is not allowed to
play with anyone.” Due to the stigma and not having a good understanding about
the disease, many people infected with HIV/AIDs have chosen quick and irresponsible
lives of revenge. Ms. Hue told us a tragic story about the case of a very young
couple in Haiphong who learned that they were HIV-infected. First they totally
collapsed and then they sold all their property and used the money for
debauchery. Unfortunately after having become totally empty-handed, they were
still alive.
Currently, Ms. Hue has been busy with many projects. She founded the Hoa
Phuong Do group (Flamboyant Flower Group) made up of female members infected
with HIV/AIDs, all of them having been infected by their husbands. The group
disseminates information about HIV/AIDs and cares for HIV/AIDs patients,
especially those who are shunned by their families to the extent that they are
locked in the bathroom and given no care instead of caring for them in a
sick-room in the house. The members of Hoa Phuong Do also assist with funerals
for those who died of HIV/AIDS since nobody wants to help with this unpleasant,
scary and difficult job. Ms. Hue represents nearly 300,000 people living with HIV/AIDS
in Vietnam. She became a member of the United Nations Volunteers supporting a
project entitled "Strengthening the Participation of People Living
with HIV/AIDS"; she was also a delegate to The Global Young Leaders
Conference in 2007.
Ms. Hue told us that she hasn’t been home for a month because of her busy
traveling and presentation schedule. After her morning presentation in Ho Chi
Minh on November 29, 2011 she took a 9:00 p.m. flight up north back to her
hometown in Hai Phong. The next morning around 6:00 a.m. she gave a
presentation in Hanoi. She confided that her present health condition, based on
laboratory tests, has indicated very good results in that her high level of
white blood cells has been maintained for four years. Unlike her polished appearance
of today she revealed that on her very first days of HIV/AIDs, the infection
was extremely devastating. She looked completely collapsed, skinny, pale,
pessimistic, extremely exhausted, and close to death. However, she learned how
to lift up her spirits, how to work correctly, how to eat healthy food, and how
to keep her white blood cell count at as high a level as possible for as
long as possible.
Surprisingly, the point that impressed Ms. Hue’s audience the most during
her 30-minute speech was her calmness and frankness as she delivered
information about a life-threatening disease that naturally incites stigma and
discrimination from society. She was straightforward in calling on men to use
safe-sex methods that would prevent and protect their loved ones from the risk
of catching STDs after having fun.
Ms. Hue’s talk was very frank when it came to matters considered very
sensitive including intercourse between husband and wife after being infected
with HIV/AIDS, and her perspective that it is the major responsibility of the
men to prevent and protect their loved ones from the risks of HIV illness.
Unlike other methods of propaganda by the mass media, Ms. Hue did not beat
around the bush, instead she was blunt, straightforward, simple, and to the point
in her discussion of the problem. At the end of her seductive presentation, Ms.
Hue withdrew a condom from her pocket, placed it on a fake male genital organ
made of wood and said, “I will instruct you how to use condoms properly. I
would deeply regret it if I didn’t show and talk about this method of
protection against HIV/AIDs.”
The question is, however, how many people are able to do what Ms. Hue has
done? How many people can boldly stand up in front of the public presenting
information about HIV/AIDs and share their own anguish of body and mind?
People with HIV/AIDs have to fight for their lives every moment, coupled with
isolation, stigma and discrimination against them from their families, their
communities, and society at large. How many people infected with HIV, suffering
from leprosy or from tuberculosis due to tobacco, drug addicts, prostitutes,
victims of domestic violence or sexual assault would have the courage to tell
their stories about themselves? How many people are able to learn and become a
sharp and persuasive public speaker as Ms. Hue has in order to impart
information and raise awareness in the community about HIV/AIDs?
We can never acquire a comprehensive picture of HIV/AIDs or people with
HIV/AIDs if we base our information only on slogans, statistics, and
documentary work. We need more people like Ms. Pham Thi Hue and social agencies
established by the people suffering from the disease. We need to encourage them
to speak out to the public about their own stories. Thus, their voices will be
heard and their personal, tear-filled tales will help us understand them. They
deserve assistance in reintegrating into the community like any ordinary
person..
http://gas.hoasen.edu.vn/en/gas-page/ms-pham-thi-hue-her-stories-need-telling
